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| more of yesterday:
Burnin’ Hell - John Lee Hooker - Best of John Lee Hooker
Mass in C Minor, Kyrie - W.A. Mozart - Amadeus Soundtrack disc 1
Track 05 - N/A - N/A
Monto - The Dubliners - Ireland’s Prodigal Sons
Cardigan Weather - Meg & Dia - Something Real
Nasty Naughty Boy - Christina Aguilera - Back To Basics [Disc 2]
N/A - Blue Dawn - N/A
More Axe - Bob Marley & the Wailers - The Complete Bob Marley & the Wailers
[x] Shield of Selflessness - Envy - Insomniac Doze
[x] Intruder 3 - Konami - Metal Gear Solid OST
Sex Drive - Rolling Stones - Flashpoint (live)
Five Long Years - John Lee Hooker - Live At Sugarhill
Coventry Carol - Mannheim Steamroller - Christmas
Green Night - Maximilian Hecker - Infinite Love Songs
And The Band Played Waltzing Matilda - The Dubliners - Ireland’s Prodigal Sons
[x] week3_subject1 - ilovebees.com - Halo Prequel Project
Silent Night - Uncle Bonsai - Inessential Uncle Bonsai
New Sunrise - Bugy Craxone - This Is New Sunrise
What’s My Age Again? - Richard Cheese - Richard Cheese For Life
N/A (can’t read it) - Advantage Lucy - in Harmony
Meet Me In The Morning - Bob Dylan - Blood On The Tracks
De CePlang Chitarele - O-Zone - N/A
[x] Lesson 1: Dialogue1: Fast Speed pg 30-31 - Tao-Chung Yao & Yuehua Liu - Integrated Chinese [Disc 1] Textbook Companion
Toremumo - Radwimps - RADWIMPS3
Strings - Asobi Seksu - Citrus
Walk On The Moon - Asobi Seksu - Asobi Seksu
p.s moved out - WRONG SCALE - triangle to square
Simple Pages - Weezer - Weezer (Green Album)
Don’t Rock My Boat - Bob Marley & the Wailers - The Complete Bob Marley & the Wailers
Culloden - McKassons - Tripping Maggie
Weak Become Heroes (Royksopp’s Dub Mix) - Royksopp - N/A
N/A - Mucc - N/A (it’s the title track, that’s all i know from the characters)
Ride On A Shooting Star - The Pillows - Shooting Star Single
A Squid Boat - Yozoh and Acacia Band (i think...) - Yozoh and Acacia Band
It’s Been A Long Time - John Lee Hooker - Ride Til’ I Die
Wild - Poe - Haunted
Lesson 3: Dialogue II: Slow Speed pg. 79-80 - Tao Chung Yao & Yuehua Liu - Integrated Chinese [Disc 1] Textbook Companion
Laura - Flogging Molly - N/A
Cities On The Brink - Synergy - Original Soundtrack Album: The Jupiter Menace
Get Mine, Get Yours - Christina Aguilera - Stripped
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Today:
Keep Holding On - Children Of The Revolution - Live, Love, (And Guantanamo Bay)
Tell Me What To Swallow - Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles
Akai Sofa - GO!GO!7188 - Ruriiro
Battle Axe - Bob Marley & the Wailers - The Complete Bob Marley & the Wailers
Slow Cheetah - Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stadium Arcadium
heartquake - Salyu - TERMINAL
Ankoku Chuu de no Souzou Ryouku ha Akarui Hikari Yori mo Takumashiku Hataraku no wo Tsune to Suru - te’ - Naraba... Imi Kara Kaihou sa re ta Hibi...
Hush Little Baby - Yo Yo Ma & Bobby McFerrin - Hush
Try Me - Bob Marley & the Wailers - The Complete Bob Marley & the Wailers
Light Up My Room - Barenaked Ladies - Stunt
Kakusei Heroism - Antique Cafe - Kakusei Heroism
the Godfather: Part II - Harry And The Potters - Voldemort Can’t Stop The Rock
The Beloved - Yusuf - An Other Cup
New Kid (On The Block) - Barenaked Ladies - Gordon
Happy Now? - No Doubt - Tragic Kingdom
Spotlight - Mute Math - Armistice
Dust in the wind - Kansas - The Best of Kansas
spur line - Advantage Lucy - Echo Park
August - Spangle Call Lilli Line - Spangle Call Lilli Line
Wie Weit [*] - Apocalyptica - Apocalyptica
sound of light - Noodles - God Cable
[x] Duel - Konami - Metal Gear Solid OST
[x] Introduction I: D.1 Practice I pp. 16-17 - Tao-Chung Yao & Yuehua Liu - Integrated Chinese [Disc 1] Textbook Companion
to the sea - WRONG SCALE - triangle to square
Alcohol - Barenaked Ladies - Stunt
Fading Entity (Listen to the Cries of the Planet) - FFVII: Voices of the Lifestream - Advent
Lesson 3: Supplemental Vocabulary - Tao-Chung Yao & Yuehua Liu - Integrated Chinese [Disc 1] Textbook Companion
Sephiroth’s Wake (Trail of Blood) - FFVII: Voices of the Lifestream - Dirge
Beautiful Morning WIth You - The Pillows - FLCL OST 1: Addict
N/A (formatting issue on import) - Ji Eun - Ji Eun Jiji
Shrinking Universe - Muse - Absolution
Emancipated Minor - Ani Difranco - Red Letter Year
[x] Keep on Movin’ - Bob Marley & the Wailers - The Complete Bob Marley & the Wailers
[x] Pearl V. Summit/ Temple Gates - James Asher - Tigers of the Remix
Freedom Of Trance - dj-nate - Newgrounds Audio Portal
F*** The Melancholy - Bugy Craxone - Northern Hymns
Money - John Lee Hooker - It Serves You Right...
N/A (can’t read) - Radwimps - RADWIMPS 2 | | |
| In lieu of the fact that I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, and also needing something to drastically shake myself up, I'm going to be doing something a little different this month... apart from NaNoWriMo, that is...
Everyone who gets in my car (including myself) that is faced with the task of choosing what music from my wonderful iPod to play during transit usually has a look of loss or bewilderment. I'm quite proud of the breadth, depth, and sheer variety of music I have in my possession, but it can be incredibly overwhelming and frankly unappealing to sift through it in order to find something suitable for the mood or anyone's personal taste. Thusly, whomever poor soul is scrolling up and down between the sea of E's and the multitude of M's in my lists of artists and albums is almost ALWAYS going to instantly latch onto the first familiar name that grabs their eye.... usually. And this is especially a problem for me, since the most familiar thing tends to be whatever I was listening to LAST time... thusly I have a nasty habit of subjecting myself to the same artist/album/sometimes even SONG (god forbid) for days, possibly weeks at a time.
This. has. got. to. stop.
So I'm setting my iPod on "shuffle" and leaving it that way ALL MONTH... maybe longer... we'll see. This is a combination of solving the problems aforementioned, solving slight boredom/anxiety/insanity, broadening my tastes (yes, there are things i haven't listened to yet on there), and generally becoming more familiar with the lovely little hunk of technology sitting in my car so haphazardly all the time.
AND I'm going to document what songs pop up for the curious/interested/whatever. I'll try to keep account of everything that comes by just in case anyone wants to comment on it in any way... I'll also keep track of any tracks I decide to skip completely (though I'll do my best to limit that to complete intolerance of whatever's playing).
Do I think anyone will read those lists? I have no freakin clue... but I'm vane enough to think so... especially in terms of music... that's gotta be the only thing I really can't subjectively destroy. And already from tonight I've found out interesting things about not only my tastes and tolerances, but also the general scope of what's in my music collection... and I encourage any of those of you who might be reading to participate as well.
KEY: Song Title - Artist - Album (if information is readily available)
[x] before a track means I felt so compelled to skip a song that I did, at some point in it (listening to 80% of the song and still skipping will still marked the same.)
NIGHT 1:
No Need To Argue - The Cranberries - No Need To Argue
collection - Hoover’s Ooover - collection
Party - Clint Mansell & The Kronos Quartet - Requiem For A Dream Soundtrack
Here To Stay - Christina Aguilera - Back To Basics [Disc 1]
=b=u=c - Advantage Lucy - Have A Good Journey: The Best Of Advantage Lucy ’96-’00
Greystone Chapel - Johnny Cash - At Folsom Prison
The New - Interpol - Turn On The Bright Lights
Back Seat Dog - The Pillows - Happy Bivouac
My Heartbeat (Royksopp’s Mindre Tilgjengelige Remix) - Royksopp
White Bird - KT Tunstall - Drastic Fantastic
U-Fig - System Of A Down - Hypnotize
Reprieve - Ani Difranco - Reprieve
Bouzenjishitsu - Mucc - ...
[x] Resurrection - Apocalyptica - Reflections
[x]The Oracle - Forgive Durden - Razia’s Shadow: A Musical
Adventur In Space - Aprils - Space Dream Bathroom
Auld Lang Syne - Jimi Hendrix - Live At The Fillmore East Disc 2
Old Hat - Harvey Danger - Where Have All The Merrymakers Gone?
Lady Marmalade - Various - Moulin Rouge Soundtrack
Fortress Sneaking - Konami - Metal Gear Solid 3 OST
Damn Those Turks! (Turks’ Theme) - FFVII Voices of the Lifestream - Crisis
Saishuu Ressha - Mucc - Hoyouku
Counting Bodies Like Sheep To THe Rhythm Of The War Drums - A Perfect Circle
Lover Man - Jimi Hendrix - Blue Wild Angel: Live At The Isle Of Wight
Photograph - Weezer - Weezer (Green Album) | | |
| Did you know that the late Great Fambino had a son? Yep. Mmmhmm. It's true.
He had a wife for a while, of course, and they had a son together. Thomas Milliart Fambino the third. "The third" was spelled out too, not "III" like it should be, and he was actually the only Thomas Milliart Fambino in the family, as far as they both knew. Anyway, I know this because I met him.
He's a stalky fellow, kind of lean and green and more than a little hairy. I bet they picked him next after NASA decided to stop sending monkeys into space. He's even got the shellshocked look about him, but not like Vietnam or Gulf War shellshocked where everything's surreal and terrifying. It's almost the opposite, in fact. He looks at the world like he hasn't been surprised in years. And that's probably because he hasn't. I heard once that he cackled so loud at a man who tried to mug him that the poor guy dropped his gun in surprise and walked away scott free. Growing up with a big-time superstar magician like Fambino has got to dull the everyday milieu a bit, don't you think?
Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, I met this dusty, rusty, ramshackle kid on that damned day his father died. I heard that The Great Fambino was in town, but couldn't afford the ticket price, so I was kickin' it around the park across the street from the theatre. The kid was hiding in the tube slide of the jungle gym, but I happened to notice him and ask why he was in there.
"I'm invisible! Shhh!" the kid hissed back. The kid ducked inside the slide further, and I could hear him calling from inside. "First you see me up here!...." he slid down the length of the tube and popped out the bottom like a message in a bottle, "and now I'm here! It's MAAAAGIC!"
I had to hand it to him for trying. I clapped politely and bent down on one knee (not the bad one, though) to get a better look at the bugger. “Good job, kiddo. Really fooled me with that one.” The kid frowned up at me, obviously not satisfied.
“It wasn’t real magic, though,” he said. “My daddy can do REAL magic! It’s amazing!” the kid shuffled his hands through his pockets until he produced a wrinkled, faded, abused looking three of Clubs. “This was the first card my daddy disappeared! He gave it to me on my 8th birthday!” he cried, grinning at the old thing like an ancient tome of wisdom was inscribed on the back of the thing.
“Your daddy does real magic, huh? Could he be the big guy in the theatre over there, with all the lights and whatnot?” I asked, gesturing to the signs broadcasting the Big Guy’s presence here.
“Yeah! And today, I took this cereal coupon out of one of the props for his show today. Mommy will be so proud I found one! I wanna get my favorite cereal with this one, it’s-” the kid’s babbling was suddenly drowned out by screams from across the street. I stood to get a better view of what was going on. Some people were running out of the theatre... but some were running in! Looked like some hospital and copper fellas were starting to show up, so I decided to skedaddle. I glanced back at the little runt. He looked up at me with these big dow eyes still so full of wonder and grinned.
“I also made a toy disappear! I took one of those little green houses from daddy’s Monopoly set and hid it in my mouth. I was running around trying to show them and I slipped and fell, and when I got back up, it was gone! Mommy says I might’ve swallowed it... hey, what’s going on over there? Is daddy’s show over?”
That was my cue to leave, though. Didn’t see the poor guy for 12 years. Met him just this last summer, though. I was hanging out near a newspaper stand when he came by the coffee stand near to me, and I had to call him over. I knew instantly it was him; he was wearing his dad’s crest as a lapel pin. Thomas was dressed all fancy, nice lawyer suit and briefcase, even though his head was shaggy, hair going every whichaway.
We sat down inside and the guy was nice enough to offer a tired old man a coffee. He told me in a bored way he was in legal stuff now. I asked if his mom was still around, and he mumbled something about not seeing her for a decade. The kid looked downright unmotivated, but when he went to pay the nice lady at the counter for our coffee, I saw, in the very front pocket, a tattered old playing card, and nestled in front of that, a very flimsy looking FiberOne coupon, its green hue staring back at my surprised old raisin of a face.
“Hey kid,” I asked, “wanna see a magic trick?” | | |
| SEATTLE RAIN:
It's a dusty nail in your mouth
after a nostalgic talk with your ex,
with the scent of wet roses in the air.
It's the raccoon in your disused lawn chair,
grinning back as you sand down your rotting porch,
or hiding atop,
with your knees tucked under a long black coat,
with the sound of a snare pounding in your ears,
gripping pebbles and moss
as things get lost in your tears.
 | | |
| The grumble of the bus engine drowned out the cheerful cries of the students outside. I switched my phone back on and hunkered down in the back seat.
“I can see you doing that, sicko.” Her voice was playful, though a little condescending.
“Sorry,” I sheepishly hid my finger, covertly rubbing it against my thumb to remove the damning mucus. She slid into me, hard, her voluptuous hip slamming into me, knocking my head against the window. I yelped slightly in surprise. She snickered and punched my shoulder playfully,
“Dork.”
“Yeah, yeah … whatever you say,” was the wittiest retort I could come up with. I rubbed my ear tenderly and threw my most annoyed look at her.
“Shut your ugly,” was hers. She batted her eyes lavishly, opal crystallized around warm onyx. I found it hard not to grin dumbly back at her. I figured she was, at least half the time, joking, throwing words into the tenuous, sensual air between our warm faces. I playfully jabbed at her side. She retorted with full-force tickling, our limbs scrabbling and bouncing off the seats until we reached a stalemate.
I looked down at our jumbled arms, our overlapping legs, the slightly shuddering chest across from mine. Our eyes locked. She pulled back, violently.
“Jesus, I could fit my fingers between your ribs. Get some fat, like me.“ My lips tugged nervously to the side. I shrugged.
“You’re not fat. You’ve just got curves. How many times do I have to say that?” She shook her head and shoved me again, pushing me into the wall, sitting directly next to me so there was no escape. Her perfect lips pulled back into a half-smile, her body still aglow with the mirth of our camping retreat.
The engine was rumbling, albeit quieter now in the October morning fog. I pulled my elbow sharply back, wincing as it met the hard backboard, and wormed my forearm clumsily across the small of her back until finally tucking it around her side. I could feel myself blushing even before she reacted.
“You’re kidding, right?” she asked.
“I was uncomfortable,” I mumbled, looking sheepishly away. I felt her fingertips brush my cheek gently, then tighten around my jaw. She pulled my face sharply towards hers, her lips pursed almost perfectly into the shape of a heart. I pulled my head back slightly, though mostly out of instinct, not unwillingness. She dropped her hand but I didn’t move. Our faces were close enough that I could feel her breath brush against my chin. It smelled dry, like ice, or a clean wooden tongue depressor. There was comfort in the sterility of it.
I could feel the space between and around us dissipate. My fingers played across her side and tickled her a bit. She squirmed, letting out a squeak and a frustrated groan almost simultaneously before immobilizing my hand, pressing it tightly against the back of our seat.
“Ow,” I declared. My wrist ached up my elbow, through my shoulder, into my neck. I’d endured this and so much more all weekend, though. It seemed to be how she got her kicks.
She leaned forward and engulfed part of my ear with her lips. I could feel her breath tickling the hairs at the nape of my neck. She gave me a sharp, but delicate nibble.
“You could have had me,” she whispered, her cheek so close to mine I could feel the static building between us. That wasn’t the reply I expected. She recoiled slightly, staring at me, hard. Her voice shuddered with a peculiar mix of annoyance and vulnerability.
“You could have had me this whole trip and you didn’t…”
“I…” I rearranged my face into one of surprise and discontent. “I didn’t know? I thought you were joking all those times.” She and I both heard the doubt in my voice. Her face snapped into a grimace as she bared her teeth at me.
"I hinted like crazy, stupid boy. I practically dragged you into a room, for God's sake. Take some fucking initiative." She leaned back, crossed her arms and legs, furrowed her brow at me. "With you... I'm never certain if you want me or not..."
The engine revved slightly as the driver climbed into his seat and tested the pedals. I shook my head, ran a nervous hand through my hair, trying to crystallize my feelings but finding only muddy catacombs amidst memories in my mind.
"Me neither, really." I looked at her, her sour expression framed with beautiful ebony hair, lightly tousled around her bare shoulders, her bosom clad in stripes. "Every time I feel like I get close to you, you push me away or ignore me, and then you pull me back when I ... it's jarring. You’re jarring. You make me feel-"
"Yeah, like you don't send mixed signals? You have a girlfriend? After all this time!?" She looked sincerely unhappy now.
"And when we met, and I fell for you, you had a boyfriend ... and all the while you still dragging me around ... for over a year. Then, she walked into my life. Can you blame me?" Again, my words were more sure than my tone. I felt something welling up inside my chest. I looked at her; her eyes were shining, but with tears now instead of mirth. And yet, she smiled. She ran a finger down my chest, then up my thigh. The bus lurched forward.
"And then I dumped that guy and found that I'd fallen for you a long time ago ... but I'm not going to wait for you. Hell no." she dug into my pocket before I could react and pulled out my phone. Holding me at arms' length despite my struggling, she pressed button after button, though I couldn't see what she was doing.
"What are you doing?" My eyes widened with panic. With calmness now in her voice, she looked over the glowing screen at me.
"Nothing." There was that familiarly beautiful mischievous grin. "You need to decide: her or me. Now, or never. I can't go on like we've been doing the past few months. I realized the other day that I'm happier not thinking about you, without ever seeing your face, with things the way they are."
Panic struck me, hard, right between the eyes. It ran down into my gut faster than I could take in breath. "What ... but, you can't expect me to make a decision like that right-"
"That's it, then." Her eyes flicked to me, then back to the screen.
"What are you doing?"
"Deleting every picture you have of me." She pressed one last key, tossed the phone at me, and stood up. "If you care at all about me, and what I want, never talk to me again.” I could instantly feel the sharp cold air rush into the spaces around me where she had been. “I'm happier this way. Trust me." And with that, she hopped several seats forward and didn’t look back. I cradled my phone. My mouth was dry; my hands clammy. Somehow, she had missed a few pictures.
Quietly, resolutely, I pressed the keys. 'Delete ... delete ... delete.' | | |
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